The Concept of Santa

"zeontestpilot" (zeontestpilot) 12/24/2014 at 09:25 • Filed to: Christmas, santa

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If you think about it, the concept of Santa-man is a funny one. A fat, jolly man, breaks into your house, predictably the same time every year, without ever leaving a trace except for the things he purposely leaves behind. And he has never been caught.

He's the perfect troll for security systems. Plus he manages to run an entire black market toy and electronic's counterfeit production facility that puts Chinese knock-offs to shame.

It's probably why he lives in the North Pole, as no laws about counterfeiting probably exist up there.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 09:31

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Notice the wheels look like rings of coffins. It's a warning to respect the machine.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 09:35

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I don't know how to tell you this...

zeontestpilot > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 12/24/2014 at 09:42

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Does this mean no Christmas? What am I going to tell my kid? Crap, does this mean I have to buy the presents this year instead of letting some stranger buy it for me?

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 10:00

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It does seem somewhat odd in this day and age that telling kids to be aware of strangers and people that may take them or harm them that they better be good or an overweight heavy bearded man who knows if they are sleeping or not, won't go into their bedroom while they are sleeping and leave presents and to reinforce the message people take their young children to a place called a 'grotto' where in a small room they go and sit on the strangers knee and talk to them but I guess it's no stranger than priests, vicars, etc... giving advice on marriage, sex before marriage and not to use contraception.

Anyway I thought christmas was cancelled. I heard he's in court for slander. Allegedly he went up to three women in New York and said ho ho ho.

zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 10:12

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That's what I heard too. But google says he's currently in Russia. So I'm not sure. I bet he has connections. Else, there might be a uprising with the other holidays. You do not want to mess with the Easter bunny, trust me.

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 10:35

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To be honest I'm not sure where Santa is right now. He was helping the British Metropolitan Police Force regarding Operation Yewtree and then helping Cardinals with enquiries at the Vatican who are looking into past 'occurrences'.

It's okay. The Easter Bunny is laid up with myxomatosis.

(I was working last night is a store and a customer was having a hard time finding stuff, I cheekily said regarding her leaving it too late 'well you know who's fault it is?', she said 'yes Santas', I replied faster than thinking what I was about to say and said 'well actually you should blame Jesus then, but I think he's been persecuted enough'. To which most of the aisle of customers either smirked or laughed.)

Leadbull > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 10:36

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When high profile burglars are caught, they have the option to forego incarceration to join the St. Nicholas Operation for Winter Yultide, or SNOWY. This program works in conjunction with MATTEL, LEGO, and other toy companies to spread the joy of Christmas, and also to make fistfuls of sweet cash. I hate to break it to you kids, but there was never one, singular Santa Claus who lives at the North Pole and rides in a reindeer sleigh. That's absurd. There is actually a robust network of highly trained ex-cons in fat suits who run around, break into homes, deliver gifts, and sneak silently away.

Audi-os, Amigos! > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 12/24/2014 at 10:47

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They also look like avocados.

It's a warning to respect the avocado.

zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 10:49

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Poor Jesus, no one remembers his exact birthday. It was just lumped in with a pagan holiday at the time, to make it less 'secular'.

It's like if some guy comes along, makes a massive impact on thousands of people, changing the way they think and feel, a inspiration to the masses; and no one remembered to ask him for his birthday. So they lump it in with Mardi Gras, or devil's night, or maybe even Friday the 13th, and call it a night.

zeontestpilot > Leadbull 12/24/2014 at 10:52

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It all makes sense now!!!

zeontestpilot > Leadbull 12/24/2014 at 10:53

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This should be a movie.

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 11:03

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Didn't they work out through all the different changes of calendars over the years and the bible than in the current Gregorian calendar it fell on the 6th of July?

zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 11:45

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Well, I grew up being told it was in November, though a article I read earlier said March, and you just said July. All it really is though is speculation, guesswork.

It gets more interesting because what year was he even born? The whole B.C. and A.D. was based off of his birth. This article says [ http://understandingbooksbible.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how… ] that he was born in either 6 or 4 B.C.

So....who knows? Much of his childhood wasn't even recorded.

Leadbull > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 12:06

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A couple of things:

- Jews and early Christians of that time period generally didn't celebrate birthdays or place any importance on dates of birth.

- There's some debate as to why 12/25 was chosen. There are two prominent theories. One says that it coincided with a Roman solstice celebration; the other argues that Christians assumed from tradition that Jesus was conceived on the vernal equinox — March 25 in the Julian Calender. Add nine months to that.

Either way, the Jesus thing was well established before Christianity spread out and encompassed other traditions from Germanic and Scandinavian areas.

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 12:24

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You would of thought that making up a person they would make up a credible backstory. Saying that the story of god has been misdirected for centuries of 'can you prove hi exists?' to be returned with 'well can you prove he doesn't?'.

I've always wondered when he was younger he ever told off his mother for blasphemy when being called in from outside playing with friends for dinner. I can just see it now 'Jesus Christ will you come in for dinner, now!'. 'Mum, don't blaspheme', 'sorry son I'll save five hell Mary's'.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 12:36

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It just struck me that I think that car looks like its from the 90's. The Porsche and the The Ferrari look modern to me but that McL looks like a car they might have made for SeaQuest. Weird, the gills... ok.

zeontestpilot > Leadbull 12/24/2014 at 12:50

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zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 13:08

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Ha, well, you can say that much of It has been left ambiguous, for one simple reason, faith. It's not easy to believe in something that you can't sense with any of the 5 senses. But the sense of security, if you do believe, knowing that there can always be a feeling of 'inner' peace is what I strive for, at least.

For the name thing, Jesus in Hebrew is Yoshuah, which in today's world is Joshua, so it should be safe to say (it's my name).

The names & places were translated from the original source to another language (I think German, don't quote me though). After some time, they were translated from the original source into a second language. To prevent confusion because of the changed names, they kept the first translations names instead, which is how we get butchered names like Abraham (Avraham), Joshua (Yoshuah), and Jacob (Yacov).

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 13:31

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There are places named that have been found to never of been heard of or known to exist. The Vatican has even admitted that certain elements have been altered to fit it with other elements.

The trouble when translating is it's often not perfect. Take Latin into English for example. One latin word without context can be translated into ten different words that mean something quite often very different.

We only know what hieroglyphics mean as they were found carved into rock with Roman translation under it. With us knowing how to translate from Roman text we could in turn translate the hieroglyphs, not a foolproof method.

zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 15:19

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Ha, very true. Which makes the bible as a historical document fascinating. Even taking way any religious connections and treating what's in the text as fact (like fire did fall on Sodom and Gomorrah, how is up for debate, or, there is a paradise called Eden, but it was left for some reason), it's still informative. Like if there was a place called Ai, was it a nickname for a city, the actual city's name, and what happened to it? Was it renamed, destroyed, etc.

I took Hebrew for a year, and the popular verse Genesis 1:1 actually reads "in a beginning....", not "in the beginning", which brings up the question of what else wasn't translated well. Most of anything else I translated was near on the dot correct, but you're right, not everything is translated cleanly.

Haven't heard the Vatican thing, and no offense, I don't trust them. But they might be referring to the Documentary Hypothesis. Which I like and explains the various issues found in Genesis.

Svend > zeontestpilot 12/24/2014 at 15:50

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Hebrew is another one. It was effectively a dead language till after WWII when the Jewish were given a settlement by the British and Americans (the Jewish settlement has massively increased over the years dividing other settlements up, however you want to look at that it's hard looking at what's going on there now and thinking that plan all those years ago was a good one) and they had to come up with some new words to use the text as a language again with some text not truly known how it was meant to be pronounced.

Most of what we know (even from texts which has been copied and altered through time) is essentially Chinese whispers, bits added and bits lost, context and meaning changed.

Even 100-150 years ago what we know now was very different. In the U.K. all children were called girls naive girls and gay girls, the term boy/s was used for a young male servant. Pink was for males as it was considered a masculine colour and blue for females as the soft blues were considered effeminate.

I don't believe in religion but I believe the bible, koran, torah, etc... can be used as a guide to living a moral life without taking it (excuse the term) as gospel that it actually happened and certain things aren't relevant any longer as we have evolved as a people and a global society. We know so much more about the world and who we are and what part we play to have a two thousand year old text stifle us.

All we can do is try to be the best that we can to each other and not necessarily have a day or several to honour something that's very doubtful to of actually happened but to stop every once in a while and take a look at where we want to go and are going and to give up some of our time to be with others that don't have anyone and help people less well off than ourselves and learn some humility.

Take care fella and have a great evening ahead and a great day tomorrow be it christmas, festive occasion or merely time with people you're with.

zeontestpilot > Svend 12/24/2014 at 17:12

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Hope you have a great day too! :)